Its a beautiful night out. The city lights are blinking on and off, the night sky is a midnight blue. [o yea, this is janice]

It's definitely a great night to go out. Darn. Too bad im here at home blogging. O well! =D ARRRGGH. Ok.. Man.. I'm sOo stupid [ wait.. no i'm not, lol ] =D. Yes. Maybe it's because I have absolutely no clue what boys think about. I remember my first crush.. It was in pre-school I think and yea I liked him, i think his name was.. PJ? and I think he was cute, [ i dont remember ] I have little recollection of this but I remember that i was voted pre-school princess or something and i wished soo badly that he was chosen pre-school prince, but he wasn't. I remember telling my mom that i liked him, and i told her not to tell anyone but i think she thought it was cute or something so she told everyone. Then i think i got mad at my mom then i cried LOL.. Yea. I was a funny baby. GrrRr.. I wish it was that easy. I always tell myself Ok.. boys are stupid, boys are stupid, boys are stupid.. boys are stupid.. to avoid liking anyone and make as little as possible eye contact with them.. But then why the heck do i do that? GrrRr. OMG, this sounds soo corny! GrrrRRr.. Maybe im just stupid when it comes to the opposite sex? Yup.. that's definitely it.. I'll probably end up dating like... MUCH LATER.. or yeaaa... AHH! I'm such a loser! no i'm not, no i'm not. I think i'm scared of boys or something? What the hell is wrong with me? ArRr.. And how come for some people its so easy to tell their feelings to the other? It's either I tell them or not.. probably not. But then I end up thinking What would happen if I do? They would either say that they like me also... or they end up telling me they have never liked me and have no idea who I am.. and... and never want to see my face again. So, yup, I end up not telling them, just seeing short glances of them ...Man... I can't even tell my BEST FRIENDS who i like.. It's so hard to build that confidence to just straight up tell someone. I think if I do tell the person, I would end up hyperventelating, lol... I wish it was easy. Yup. I don't think anyone knows. No one will ever know! because i definitely don't like any one. Keep telling myself that so I dont like anyone. I don't like anyone, i don't like anyone... [ LOL, i don't think anyone will read this.] Okay, bye. I don't like anyone, i don't like anyone...I don't like anyone, i don't like anyone...